Recently I've started to wonder more and more what life would be like without Internet. One in which our hands (and heads) were not constantly attached to our iPhones or tablets by some sort of invisible umbilical cord. I was just saying the other day that I genuinely would like to go back to the 80s and live in a time when the internet had not yet taken over our lives.
This might come as quite a surprise due to the fact that I, like many twenty something year olds, am permanently checking my smartphone...clicking on to Instagram, Facebook, YouTube (and Snapchat before I recently had enough of that one and deleted it from my phone altogether), going through my bank details on the daily, updating my to-do list on the reminders app, setting alarms (I do love an alarm) and just browsing whatever random thing pops into my head thanks to my good friend Google.
I mean yes I'll admit that the Internet has made a lot of things easier. Gone are the days where we actually had to physically go to the library to renew a book or wait in line at the bank for our cash to be counted out in front of us. Now we can meet a friend for a coffee in the blink of an eye by simply sending a quick text or whatsapp message.
Would you like to know what your cousin in San Francisco is up to? Why not Skype! Need to make an appointment at your local doctor? No need to make a phone call, there's an app for that now. Pizza craving? Just click onto justeat.ie and voila 30 minutes later there it is, just like magic.
Isn't that all fantastic?
Well no actually, it's not.
Being a twenty something year old, with who knows how many "friends" on Facebook (half of whom probably wouldn't even stop to say hello to you if you passed them in the street), two Instagram pages (God knows why I have two), a member of every whatsapp group known to man is actually...what's the word? Draining.
Social media is great when everything is going well in your life. You always enjoy getting updates on your nieces and nephews who look so cute in their Disney Princess ensembles, peanut butter smeared across their faces. It's nice to keep in touch with old friends from college and see what they're up to now, how they're doing. If you’re bored on a break at work you can mindlessly scroll through other people's holiday photos, planning your next get away. You congratulate your friend on Facebook for passing her accountancy exams, knowing she worked so hard and she deserved to do well. And occasionally you pass on your well wishes to whatever couple recently shared their engagement with the world. It’s easy. It’s quick. You’re happy for them.
But not all the time.
We all have those days when things don't go quite right…
You wake up a little unnerved and have your morning coffee. You can't seem to put your finger on it but there is something tick tick ticking away in the back of your head. You can't find the perfect outfit, the one that would make you feel that little bit more confident and so after a desperate rummage through your wardrobe you end up missing your bus. Ugh great, you're late now.
You tell yourself it’ll be fine and off you trot to the job that you secretly don't really like, which you accepted anyway in order to pay for the skyrocketing rent in your postage stamp sized Donnybrook apartment. “A job is a job”, you try to convince yourself, “I’ll do it for now, I’ll get through the hard part and I’ll eventually find something better”.
At the bus stop you automatically click onto Instagram and you begin the scroll. “Oh look another slim tanned model promoting a Detox Tea of some sort”, you think to yourself. She’s smiling away at you as you're late for your 9-5, yet again. "That lucky bitch", you think to yourself. “She probably never worked a day in her life, she wouldn’t have to wait 11 minutes for the 145 in this weather”.
It’s five past 9 as you sneak to your seat as that smarmy guy who sits opposite you in the office tells you with a grin that you’re looking a bit “wind swept”. You ignore him and truck on dutifully. At 11’o clock you snapchat your latte with the caption "Mondays…groan". While you’re at it, you click onto your story and there she is in all her glory - that stupid beauty blogger guru influencer with perfectly straight white teeth. “What is she going on about now?” you wonder. “Who has time to listen to this stuff?’…you don't know what exactly because you’ve already muted her. Note to self: delete her.
Somebody else has snapped an airport selfie, their glass of prosecco in shot. “Well look at you being original”, you muse away to yourself. Meanwhile as you make it back to your desk, over which a dark cloud has started to hover, your demon of a boss has plonked a load of papers on your desk for you to get through. You dream of white sands and seashells.
Finally, you come home at 6, wrecked. You slip off your pumps which are chafing away at the blisters on the soles of your feet. You replace the bandage with a sting. And you open the fridge to observe the situation. “Okay, I need to actually be healthy", you remind yourself. “Abs are made in the kitchen aren't they?”, I mean you definitely read that somewhere. Wholemeal bread it is, it'll go nice with a poached egg and beans.
You turn on the TV and there are the Kardashians, munching away on their store bought designer salads with their signature designer pouts. 10 minutes in and Kim's wailing after a close call with her diamond earring failing to resurface from the ocean. "People are dyingggg", Kourtney drawls in her slow Californian monotone. You switch to the news instead and needless to say she is right, people are in fact dying.
Two seconds later you get distracted by a Daily Mail article highlighting yet again another female celebrity who is shamelessly "flaunting" her curves like some sort of slutty sorceress. ‘WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?’ is the tone you’re picking up on.
It’s at this point that you have decided that you would actually prefer to relocate to a dark hole under a mossy rock. You formulate a carefully thought out plan that entails packing away the last of your cans of beans and a few good books, which by the way are sitting there on your bed side table looking at you mockingly.. "look at her on her phone again!” they whisper to one another with a smirk. "We've been here for a whole fort night and she’s barely gotten past the prologue! The shame!”
Jokes aside...do you ever just feel like you want to throw your smart phone in a bin? I know I do.
I think we've all had these thoughts and it's very easy to see why. Social media has taken over every aspect of our reality transforming what it once meant to be successful and happy. It's not just reality TV stars who are posting endless updates today and the world is filled with makeup gurus, fitness models, vloggers and bloggers (I mean look at me blogging away as we speak! How ironic.)
It’s sometimes hard to keep up with all the changes going on within the digital world. And in a time when we're all so virtually connected, it can sometimes be a painful reminder that your situation is just not up to scratch.
Being so connected can often serve to heighten our own insecurity and loneliness even more. Between the wedding photos and the job promotion updates, the ‘fitspiration’ posts dotted all over Instagram of toned bikini models and the ’relationship goals’ of the happy smiling attractive families decked out in Ralph Lauren matching outfits…how is one to feel about themselves?
The answer is easy isn't it? Don't focus on others, focus on yourself and how you can improve your own situation. Don't pay heed to whatever people post to their highlight reel as you've no idea what's going on behind the carefully filtered snapshots that are meant to capture 'reality'.
The real truth is we all have problems and we're not going to fix them by crying about somebody else's supposed success. Because it's not real life. In fact, often the content a person chooses to post online simply acts as a cover up for whatever real crap is going on in that person's reality. People are transforming themselves into picture perfect brands that appeal to the masses (often to make money). But without actually meeting up with that person face-to-face to have a real conversation, you have no idea what their day to day life consists of.
It’s easier said than done but it’s very possible to put our smartphones down (if only momentarily) and allow ourselves to just be. Not to snapchat, not to scroll, not to judge a celebrity who you have not nor probably never will meet in real life. Don’t worry that somebody isn’t texting you, calmly suppress that Fear of Missing Out and remind yourself that you’re more than an airbrushed advertisement.
I myself have decided to do somewhat of a digital detox by:
1. Not looking at my phone for at least one hour after I wake up each morning (this means focusing on your own life and not starting the day on the wrong foot) and
2. Taking another hour at some point throughout the day and turning my phone off (or realistically on airplane mode).
Technology is a wonderful thing when used correctly and in moderation. I love my smartphone just as much as the next person. But when it becomes invasive and oppressive it’s necessary to simply put it down and look around at what’s in front of you (and who is in front of you for that matter...there's nothing worse than having a conversation with someone who is constantly glued to their screen). Maybe you’ll be surprised by what greets you.
If you do feel inadequate or lonely, just take a deep breath and before you throw your phone in a bin, try switching it off and relaxing. I guarantee you there is someone else who is probably feeling exactly the same way who would only love to spend some time with you.
P.S., I don't think anyone on their death bed ever said “I wish I’d spent more time on Facebook”.
💘
